In Vino Veritas

[Bar Dude #1] Mmm….  You gettin’ smoke on that?  Oh yeah! I’m fer sure gettin’ smoke – Hickory embers.  The legs on this are workin’ for me.  Me? I’m detecting old – ugh- Fromage de Chevre, some vintage Moroccan shoe leather and – uhhhh – magic marker.

[Bar Dude #2] Dude, you’re SO stupid! You’re doing it all wrong!  This blend is all mossy with kick-ass tannins and an ever so slight peachy-ness.  Err… yeah – and I’m definitely gettin’ some musty Oak on it – and… wait – sweaty ballsac – yeah!

Cool thing is about wine, is that no matter what you say, you’re not wrong and neither the dude next to you with a completely different opinion.  The interpretation is nearly all subjective.  Sure there are plenty of sommeliers out there and all kinds of technical characteristics that can be applied to wine tasting.  But for most folks, again, it’s all in your head – personal preferences.

Want proof?  You know what “corked” means, right?  It’s when a bottle of wine has been improperly stored, allowing a bit of outside air into the wine and giving the entire bottle a smell and taste similar to nasty-ass feet that have been sitting in sockless 1994 Jordans for a few days.  Well, I can take another glass from that same corked bottle that Customer A complained about and watch Customer B drink it happily.  Weird, eh?

Me? I can be just as happy with a $4 bottle of Trader Joe’s Sauv Blanc as I can with a $200 bottle of Barollo from a Bedford wine shop.

Eh… screw it.  Why bother going on when another like-minded “lifer” barkeep has penned the ultimate article on the topic? Here’s a snippet – posted by The Drunken Assassin:

“…You can talk about wine.  You can smell wine.  You can claim the wine is corked and dump it down the drain to show the manager that you are knowledgeable about wine and do not care about profits.  You can come to my restaurant and I will use words likeoaky, jammy and tannins and then you will think I’m smart and trust me to recommend a glass of wine for you that is way overpriced…”

Head on over to for the complete article and a good schooling on why you don’t know shit (or why you do) about vino…

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