The Soda Gun Cleaning Brigade


See this thing folks? Know what it is? It’s Wunderbar’s commercial soda gun dispenser. It’s the source of all things carbonated at 99% of bars. If you don’t rock Wunderbar, your place has some other blue Pepsi-based Tier-2 setup or you have the misfortune of working in some funky Italian eatery whose owner insists on “keeping it really real” by continuing to use those idiotic (but cute) little 8oz glass bottles of Coke, Schweppes, tonic, etc. Those dainty bottles are the shiznit in terms of cool-factor but are utterly useless in a busy bar – a huge liability (money pit).

Now, guess that that soda gun insn’t folks? It’s not a fucking sink!

About 3 out of 5 bartenders I work with believe the soda gun has some sort of mystical powers – super cleaning ability for all things bar related. Fuck the warm water, fuck the sanitizer, and fuck the bar sink. That bar sink, replete with hot water and soap, is right beneath the gun, but you’d sure as shit be hard-pressed to think these bartenders have ever noticed it’s existence. The soda gun is their BFF – their lazy-ass Swiffer Wet Jet.  They’ll use it to rinse out the bar mixers every 3 or 4 drinks (if you’re lucky) – spritzing a dollop of icy cold Club Soda in there in a vain attempt at appearing tidy (right….).

Drip-a-long (me) comes along a minute later, happily making a customer a Sapphire Gimlet or Goose Martini. I do my little pour, shake my shake, and do a little song and dance. I proceed to pour the cocktail into a Martini glass in front of Joe Customer. Lo an behold, my proudly-made Martini is suspiciously infused with random mint leaves or is tinted a lovely shade of pink by some tasty raspberry remnants. Yum (not).

What the fuck people? Clean your god-damned mixing glasses every single time you use them - in the sink. This is not Coyote Ugly or Hogs and Heifers. This is real life. The soda gun is not for hosing down your horny customers. Nor is it designed for you to swish around some ineffective, ice cold, club soda in your mixing tins. Quit washing rinsing your hands with a splash of club soda please. Use the fucking sink and some warm water. Nothing drives me more insane than disorganized, ill-prepared, dirty coworkers.

NOTE: When slammed, don’t keep your mixing tins down if they’re not clean. My dumbass will assume they’re clean. Keep them up (signifying they’re not ready to be re-used) or put them in the sink signifying they need to be washed out.

Thank you dirt asses.


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2 thoughts on “The Soda Gun Cleaning Brigade

  1. My question is should new soda guns still be soaked in soda water over night. Because apparently the new guy says no it will fuck up the o rings?

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