Chicago Pays Bartender Record Settlement

This blonde chick’s name is Karolina Obrycka – a bartender at Jesse’s Shortstop Inn, in Chicago. The overly concerned looking dude on the right – who was apparently never informed that misfitting JCPenney dress shirts and 80′s Paul Teutel Sr. hair styles are out – is none other than [former] Chicago Police Officer Anthony Abbate. Oh? You say you haven’t heard of or seen this this cute couple in action? For those of you who haven’t, take a look at love-fest that ensues between the two when P.O. Abbate has a few drinks in him. This incident and video is from 2007.

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One Minute Drill – The Health Department Shuffle

Ah.. New York City! The land where every other storefront is seemingly a bar or restaurant. So many choices – so little time. There are thousands or maybe even tens of thousands of bars and restaurants in this town. It makes for some ridiculously difficult eating/drinking choices. The NYC Department of Health is charged with ensuring that every single one of those establishments is in compliance with standardized Food Handling and Sanitary Practices. The trouble is, there are only  a few dozen Inspectors on the streets. It can be months or even years between (supposedly random) inspections –  if they ever occur at all. An unfortunate consequence is the “Security by Obscurity” that many bars/restaurants follow as a result.

That environment has lead to a few more or less standardized practices – some of which I’m going to shed some light on. The majority of venues I’ve worked in have documented food handling policies and are damn near O.C.D. about keeping clean, constantly driving their Gestapo floor managers to beat their F.O.H. and B.O.H. staff with the Enforcement Stick. On the flip side, there are a whole lot of dirt-ass owners and managers in this town that simply do not adhere to basic tenants of cleanliness. They know they’re not going to get inspected often, and casually let the resident rats go about their business, and repeatedly violate the public by doing stupid shit like serving week-old, redressed, cooked chicken.

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The Cappuccino Martini

Those of us who opt for the delicious combination that is coffee and booze, know exactly what we’re doing. Although it most often shows up in the form of an Irish Coffee (I’ll eventually straighten out the misconceptions about that one), there are plenty of other ways to both imbibe, keep oneself awake, and look damned good doing it.

NOTE: if you’re over 25, quit drinking retarded Jager Bombs and Vodka-Redbulls. Those drinks belong only at frat parties… they’re bro drinks. There are a handful of cocktails that scream ghetto classless. Anything with Redbull is on that deafening list.

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Bar Rot on Steroids

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Word to the wise: Don’t let your bar rot (Paronychia) go untreated. Heed my words or you’ll wind up in a doctor’s office or E.R. facility like this guy above. This level of infection is what used to happen to my Bangladeshi barback just about every other week. Poor guy. He’s a dirt-ass however and rarely followed proper hygiene nor did he bother to see a doctor about his finger puss problem. I’ve often wondered exactly what he was doing with his fingers when he’d disappear during my shift for 20 minutes at a time. Regardless, bartend frequently, and your fingers will get fucked up. You girls who relish long, sexy salon nails – it may be best to consider another profession or just keep your man-scratchers short and simple. Just sayin…