Lifestyles of the Not Rich, Not Famous, and Not Too Bright

Last night’s grand interaction:

[Me] Hey fellas. How are you? What can I get for you?

[Whiz Kid] Yo! Wassup? What do you got that’s cheap?

[Me][Slight pause and look of confusion] Well, all the drinks are kind of inexpensive here. Why don’t you give me an idea of what you normally drink and I can give you some suggestions?

[Whiz Kid] What’s less than $10?

[Me] Well, we have our house liquor and most of these spirits – on this shelf – are under $10 as well. Beers x,y, and z are $6, etc.

[Whiz Kid] OK. Lemme get a Hennesey

[Me] Sorry, that one’s $15. You picked a one of the premium spirits on the top shelf.

[Whiz Kid] What about Bombay?

[Me] $9

[Whiz Kid] Lemme get that

[Me] Uh… you just want a shot of Bombay?

[Whiz Kid] How do people usually have it? What’s good with it?

[Me][5 people standing behind him clamoring for drinks] Tonic is pretty popular, ya know?

[Whiz Kid] How much is it if I add tonic?

[Me] It’s the same price straight, mixed, down, up, on the rocks – anyway you have it.

[Whiz Kid] Yeah, yeah, yeah… lemme get that with tonic… But make it STRONG

[Me] Uh… NO!

[Whiz Kid][Deer in headlights... look of total confusion] What do you mean?

[Me] You get one shot… it’s an ounce and a half. It’s $9. Would  you like a double?

[Whiz Kid] How much is a double?

[Me] Double the price

[Whiz kid] How much is that?

[Me] That would be $18

[Whiz kid][Waves me off] No thanks. Just a regular. Gimme two of those.

[Whiz Kid][Leaves me a dollar] Thanks dude

[Me][Nod] Thanks man…

Just another night in paradise.


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