Note to bar owners: spring for behind-the-bar dishwashers and/or a proper dishroom. Washing glasses by hand, in your classic three-sink setup, leads to inevitable minor (and sometimes major – as seen) injuries due to hidden broken glass behind all those bubbles and murky waters. When busy, or when washed by less than O.C.D. barbacks, hand-washing also leaves a not so pleasant film on all your glasses. That’s an issue that gets progressively worse as the bar liveliness ramps up, and as the hours tick by without changing wash and rinse waters. Yum! Mucho gusto el extra flavor in cocktails!
Like dainty fingers and manicured nails? Bartending my not suit you. Here are two more gashes within 4 shifts – this week alone. Lovely. Neither will heal anytime soon due to an exhaustive and painful routine of garnish tray Citric Acid baths, fishing in industrial-strength rust remover (Maraschino cherry juice), broken glass gymnastics, refreshingly contaminated wash water dips, filthy bar-rag “wax-on, wax off,” and an ever present flow of our cleanest [not] U.S. currency. Fun, huh? Here’s to hoping it won’t go all Bar Rot on my this time. Welcome to my world. Just gotta bear the pain and keep slinging them drinks with a smile. Upshot: NuFoam wash detergent kills HIV. So, at least I’m golden to get all raw dawg with some random Strange, right?
Photo credit: http://www.brittneycason.com
Your job is not like my job. You sit in your comfy, leather-ette Herman Miller recliner, basking in the warm glow of Earth Saver florescent fixtures, eyes transfixed on that formula-heavy, Excel spreadsheet, listening mercilessly to the Senior Director of Sales wax about his penchant for your Sales organization to make next quarter’s quotas. You’re on a Web sharing, whiteboard session with a dozen other mid-level managers. You nefariously test your Mute button by saying “hello” once in a while, ensuring it’s properly working, before launching into an expletive-laced tirade with your cubicle neighbor about how your hate your job, your supervisor, and your measly 7.5% increase this year. All the while, you’re scheduling 2 “personal days” off in the adjacent window’s Human Resource Management System. You get to do that…
Bartending? Forget it. You’re talking apples and oranges. Got an unexpected hot date tomorrow? It’s Thanksgiving next week and you’re planning on chowing down with the fam? Cut your finger? Need some sutures on that bad boy? Broke an arm? Forget it – you’re totally screwed. Welcome to the world of bartending – where the reality is, every day is no day off. You get your ass to work, or you don’t get paid; or, you lose your job.