Bar Rot on Steroids

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Word to the wise: Don’t let your bar rot (Paronychia) go untreated. Heed my words or you’ll wind up in a doctor’s office or E.R. facility like this guy above. This level of infection is what used to happen to my Bangladeshi barback just about every other week. Poor guy. He’s a dirt-ass however and rarely followed proper hygiene nor did he bother to see a doctor about his finger puss problem. I’ve often wondered exactly what he was doing with his fingers when he’d disappear during my shift for 20 minutes at a time. Regardless, bartend frequently, and your fingers will get fucked up. You girls who relish long, sexy salon nails – it may be best to consider another profession or just keep your man-scratchers short and simple. Just sayin…

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Pourers

Pourers – the truth. The only bar that doesn’t need them is Uncle Wilson’s 70′s-ish, fake-wood paneled basement boudoir. What’s a pourer? Well, for uninitiated, it’s a device that fits 98 percent of standard glass [and plastic - yech...] spirit bottles, enabling a – supposedly – controlled, continuous flow of hooch. Why do you need pourers Mr. Bartender? Answer: speed and consistency. (1) Speed = money. Make drinks faster, make more money – unless you’re fond of picking boogers, endlessly flashing ass, or texting incessantly (2) it’s far easier to pour a consistently similar amount into a shaker or glass given the same drink order, repeatedly. That saves needless remade drinks, overpours, underpours and the like.

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