Lobster Does Not a Bloody Mary Make

There are Bloody Mary’s. Then there are other bevies concocted with a lil’ tomato juice, vodka, Tabasco, spices and a cacophony of fresh meat stuffs, sauteed vegetables, and or grilled organic tofu with rare, Bangladeshi, Autumn herbs shizzle. Basically, it’s some cracked-out, French Culinary Institute graduate’s idea of a meal replacement. Voila – you have lobster Gazpacho with a dash “Vocka…” err… uh… or some facsimile thereof.

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Cocktail Basics: Bloody Hell! Bloody Mary for Dummies

Bloody Mary


Ahh… the time-honored Bloody Mary. This cocktail has been with us for an eternity. Even today, it’s as wildly popular as ever. Yet for some reason, most of us have it in our heads that this buzz-inducing, yet seemingly health-conscious concoction, should only reasonably be consumed on Saturday and Sundays before dark (a.k.a., Brunch). Where’d that idea come from?

This is one of those standard cocktails that every barkeep – from the buffoon at your hog-roast/bait-n-tackle shop on the Gulf Coast, to the master mixologist at the Occidental – must be intimately familiar with. Despite the commonality, like a dozen or so other standards, bartenders routinely muck this drink up for some odd reason. Typically, their establishments (a) use gasp – use commercial Bloody Mary mix – perish the thought or (b) they’re so disengaged, that they’ve become much more interested in pumping out a sub-par drink and moving on, than creating repeat business by offering exceptional cocktails. From my experience, “b” is far more pronounced a problem.

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