Hygiene. I mean really? How much can I bash you over head with guidance before you realize you’re – uh – not so fresh? How many times have you been in the midst of conversation, and subsequently been befuddled because your paramour “backs up the truck” 2 or 3 feet and exhibits “bitter beer face?” Confuzzled? Did I break wind or something? Have they seen a rat? Is there a piece of lettuce stuck in my teefs?
No you dirt-ass! You have stank-ass breath – a.k.a, Chronic Halitosis. You can’t possibly be that dim-witted and not realize that your mouth feels and smells like an uber-ripe, clogged, downtown subway sewer in balmy July. You have to do something about it you big dummy!