Why Cheap Booze Makes Your Hangover So Horrible

Gotta give a shout-out to Gawker media – Jizz…. uh… Gizmodo in particular. My fellow tech brothers (while normally waxing on all things steampunkerrific and modern technoboobery) seem to relish educating their nerd following with an occasional tidbit on – I don’t know – the finer points of professional “imbibery.” Part of me suspects that some of their editorial staff are former Hospitality F.O.H.’ers. Another part of me believes that since they incessantly drop knowledge on all the whizzbang gadgets most folks can’t yet afford, they spend their ginormous salaries performing immensely valuble “field tests” at the neighboring McSwiggans Ale House – all in teh name of science.

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Vodka: Helping People Get Drunk Since the 8th Century

Great, great article written by D.C. bartender (and blogger) Dave, over on Blogspot. If you hazily recall your college days like I do, you’ll insta-gag upon remembering that really bad Urinal-Punch all the frat houses always made with plastic bottle, after plastic bottle, of Georgi.  Yikes! And you wondered why you were always sick the next day, vowing never to drink again during your walk-of-shame back to your dorm?  Shockingly, we still wear that badge of honor years later don’t we?  We still proudly recount those glory days, waking up in seemingly endless pools of blown chunks, naked corpses left and right, not fully realizing what atrocities we had been party to the night before or with whom.  We’ve made a pact that when we “grow up” and become civilized, we’re never gonna let our kids in on our youthful debauchery.

Anyway, the gist is that vodka, by law, is supposed to be tasteless, orderless and colorless. Right… good luck with that one.  The reality is more like every distiller does something a bit different. My personal view is that all vodka sucks ass and will be my last choice in choosing a beverage.  Vodka is like the tofu of the spirits world.  It takes on the flavor of whatever additive you mix it with.  Thus, I let out an inner gasp and chuckle when “connoisseurs” order it on the rocks.  A shit-ton of chicks love this stuff because it’s envisioned as having a low-calorie or no-calorie count (not true).  Then there’s the misconception that vodka doesn’t contribute to a hangovers (also not true).  

Be brave fellas and exhibit a little class.  Try a classic shaken cocktail – something unusual these days that might have some fresh lemon juice and bitters.  Sip a fine whiskey, Cognac or experiment with a glass of wine.  Click through for the full article… 

This post is in 2 parts. In this part, I will be talking some about the basics of vodka. Then in the next section, I’ll go over some of the better vodkas to order, some of the nasty ones and the overrated ones that you think are good but aren’t.

What Makes Good Vodka?
Good vodka is supposed to be tasteless and odorless because it is supposed to be only pure water and pure alcohol. However, they all have some type of taste, but are supposed to lack flavor like gin or bourbon. A lot of taste is a vodka no-no (except flavor infused vodkas).

This is why vodka has been traditionally the “woman’s alcohol,” because it won’t leave you smelling like you’ve been drinking. Apparently back then it wasn’t considered lady like to smell like booze and be overtly drunk. This has changed a little since like the 1940s because given the right place and time of night, some men consider it extremely appealing- but I digress…

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