I live and work in New York City – the epicenter of uber-Liberal extremism as well as what’s likely the biggest melange of races and ethnicities the world has ever seen. I reckon it’s the first place a vast majority of Bible-Belt Southerners envision if asked about those damned Yankees trying to impose their will. I absolutely loathe extremists of any kind. The Westboro Baptist Church, N.A.M.B.L.A., the N.R.A., The Brady Center, various white supremacist organizations, their corresponding violent and separatist black power organizations, militant Islamic Jihadists all come to mind first. I preach and practice M.Y.O.B. and “live and let live,” so long as you don’t infringe on my rights.
Tip Talk. Many, many non-industry folks are severely misguided in their assumption that bartenders/waiters earn a decent salary. That notion is flatly false. Unlike many of our European counterparts, gratuities (a.k.a,tips) are what we depend on to earn a living here. The whole reason the system is set up as it is (here in the U.S.) is to allow a certain degree of “compensation flexibility” for service. As we’ve all experienced, that service can run the gammut from abysmal to extraordinary. The ensuing “tip” should be reflective of that service level. As a result, gratuity-dependent servers are highly encouraged to always put on their game face, lest they shoot themselves in the proverbial foot.
Net net? Give shitty service – make shitty money. Give stupendous service – make stupendous money. Well, at least it should work that way in theory. In reality, it actually does work that way most of the time. However, like inexplicable streaks at an Atlantic City craps table, there are going to be times in your bartending career where numerous, unpredictable forces of nature conspire to fuck with your income. A string of douchebags will occupy your bar for seemingly endless hours, either refusing to tip at all, insulting you with coins, or repeatedly committing an appalling financial offense like dropping two dollars on a round of 4 Mojitos and 2 Old Fashions.
I’ve written many instances of War and Peace about topic previously. However, the objective of my rants clearly has still not sunk into the craniums of the masses of bar and restaurant goers. For the hard of hearing and the educationally disadvantaged, in other words – all of you cheap asses – here it is again from another mouth-piece:
From the Amber Road Cafe in Canton, MA
Do you see what that is? It’s a credit card receipt. I took a picture of it just a few days ago at a small restaurant (way outside Boston), that I take everyone to, called the Amber Road Cafe. Anyway, I took a picture of it because I wanted you to see what I wrote for a tip: $5.00. No, it’s not a lot of money. No, I’m not bragging about leaving a $5.00 tip on a $14.00 meal. So why post it? Because you’re an adult now and you need to learn how to tip.