Shaken not Stirred, Stupid

I’ve been crafting Martinis for 18 years straight – professionally. I like to blow up my own head and pretend I know what the hell I’m doing sometimes. Scratch that – I do know what I’m doing and my Martinis are the shizzle.

A Martini is completely misunderstood by a large percentage of clowns under 28 or so. At least that’s been my experience with the hundreds/thousands of Martini orders I’ve received to date. A couple of nights ago, I got yet another chick who goes “Gimme a Martini – make it strong. ‘Cause it’s my birthday.” I was completely dumbfounded. Oh, I dunno – I guess I shouldn’t be so judgemental as they’re simply ignorant in most cases, not stupid.

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Martini Order Fail #2

One of these days, I’m going to pen a book and title it: “You Can Fix Stupid – Bar and Restaurant Etiquette 101.” I’m a firm proponent of state governments force-feeding every student some kind of course on manners and social skills in High School… you know – practical crap. The other evening at the bar… I got pawned yet again. I’ve endured similar transgressions more times, over the years, than I care to recall. Below, you’ll find the followup to Article #1:

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