Idiot Bartender of the Day: Racist Edition – Jessica Elizabeth

Jessica Elizabeth… you complete me.  Oh Proof nightclub.. you had me at boobage.

So, the genius powers-that-be at Proof nightclub in Chi-town decide it’s in their best interests to hire a stripper-looking bartender to boost business.  They proceed to employ a stereotypical, bleach blonde bimbo; one with a perfectly matched, but ghastly, set of surgically enhanced, out for the world to see, double-dee endowments, an unbelievably even glow disgusting spray on salon tan, and fresh bleached teefs.

Now, I may be wrong (does an Oh God 360), but I suspect that the manager/owner who did the hiring, in this case, was a dude.  I also surmise that Ms. Elizabeth would stare like a deer in headlights, if I walked in and ordered a Perfect Manhattan, Seagrams V.O. Old Fashioned, or Knob Mint Julep. I’d likely be directed to enjoy a refreshing Jack & Coke instead.  I challenge you to prove me wrong on both charges.

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Yep. This.

I have mixed views on racism.  I should first state that I am a minority… “It only takes a drop.”  I was born in the U.S. to Haitian immigrants.  My parents came here in the early 60′s to escape a doomed country, political strife, economic misery, complete governmental corruption, lawlessness, rape, murder, maiming and lack of infrastructure.  They came to escape 400 years plundering and lack of opportunity.  

But primarily, they came to avoid a witch hunt by “Tonton Macoutes” (Duvalier’s version – at right – of the “Schutzstaffel“), whose aim was to mutilate and kill anyone who was even under the suspicion of speaking out against the government.  It all culminated in something called the “Jérémie Vespers” in which several of my Grandfather’s direct relatives were rounded up and executed.  Long story.  My family decided it was best to then get the hell out of dodge. 

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