Credit-Card-Itis: Chicks With Plastic

Chicks and credit cards. When did they become joined at the hip and so socially unaware of anyone and everything around them? Young chicks, old chicks, models, fugly chicks, college girls, 4′s, 9′s, sophisticated Upper-East-Siders… all kinds. It’s as if 8 out of 10 of them skipped the entire semester on Dining and Drinking Etiquette – opting instead for How to Behave Badly at Bar 101.

The air around a gaggle of girls rolling up my bar is so thick with anticipation, it makes bartenders instantly panic-stricken. The last thing I want to see when I’m rolling 3-deep on a Friday night, is see Cindy, Paula, Antionette and Lindsey sashay (they do that on purpose) up to the counter. They’re all 24 years of age, sporting super-sexy platforms platforms, barely-there spaghetti-string chiffon blouses, and skirts that really don’t hide their vajayjays all that well from most angles.

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Martini Order Fail

Two cute girls sit down at the bar… (no, this is not a prelude to a joke).  I casually stroll over, drink menus in hand and sporting a flirty grin.

[Me] Hi there! How’s it going? Do you know what you’d like or would you a couple of minutes to look at our drink menu?

[Cute Girl A] I dunno.  What do you want?

[Cute Girl B] Uhhh.. uhh…. I dunno. What should we have?

[Me][Pointing to a section on our menu] These are some of our most popular drinks [rattling off suggestions]

[Me] Give me an idea of what you usually drink or like and I can give you some direction.  Do you like dry/sweet, creamy, bubbly?  Do you like whiskies, dry wines, fruity drinks? 

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