You’re An Adult. Learn How to Tip

I’ve written many instances of War and Peace about topic previously.  However, the objective of my rants clearly has still not sunk into the craniums of the masses of bar and restaurant goers.  For the hard of hearing and the educationally disadvantaged, in other words – all of you cheap asses – here it is again from another mouth-piece:


From the Amber Road Cafe in Canton, MA

Do you see what that is? It’s a credit card receipt. I took a picture of it just a few days ago at a small restaurant (way outside Boston), that I take everyone to, called the Amber Road Cafe. Anyway, I took a picture of it because I wanted you to see what I wrote for a tip: $5.00. No, it’s not a lot of money. No, I’m not bragging about leaving a $5.00 tip on a $14.00 meal. So why post it? Because you’re an adult now and you need to learn how to tip.

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Do I Look Like I Would Run?

So the other night, douchebag and douche-baguette GF roll up to the bar late evening… a well-dressed Caucasian dude about 45 or so, in a suit jacket, and his younger, well-manicured blonde girl toy.  Both take about 10 minutes of studying the menu before finally ordering.  These folks are not answering when I say “hi, how are you?” or “what can I get for you?”  Whatever.  I continue along offering what I believe is excellent service, brushing off their rudeness.

They wind up with a couple of entrees.  The chick orders vodka and soda, and the dude orders coffee.  I’m nice enough – as is customary.  The bar is not full, but not completely dead either.  These two are complete dicks.  Every interaction is some kind of curt order or no reaction at all – especially Miss DB.  The guy utters something like “this is milk, right? I want cream.”  I politely inform him it’s half-n-half and he’s plows through his coffee happily.  

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