Clearly a case of post-shift bitching. We’re all quite often guilty – myself included. Nothing we’d ever say to a guest obviously. There’s little wrong with relieving a little stress amongst co-workers, by spewing a bit of pent-up venom after work, Epic…
Well, she’s at it again folks. The all-too-familiar, trendsetting bar customers have sure made their mark on the ever lovely Casey Young .It’s pretty difficult not to show mad love for a fellow barkeep who also has to deal with indeliblely pompous and inconsiderate guests (like Mr. Fake Big Baller) so frequently, that the need to identify and exploit their dumb asses in YouBoob satire becomes completely unavoidable. Believe me, I get it. Subscribe to her channel and enjoy.
Here at TTAB, I’m just about never opposed to showcasing a fellow bartender who (a) consistently displays mad mixology skillz or evident bartending experience and (b) has upped their social media game somthin’ special, putting their unique personalities front and center. Like many a [straight] walking penis, I’m particularly enamored when said barkeep happens to be.. ehem… hot. So it is with great pleasure that I “discovered” Ms. Casey Young recently and highlight this pretty young thing for your viewing pleasure.
Well, more like I knew The Monogamists. Sex and The City – Season 1, Episode 7. I know, I know… it’s not Throwback Thursday just yet. But what the hell. Pouring through some really old hard drives from yester-year, I dug up some vintage photos and video footage. Some of them – naturally – I really didn’t want to see (read: relics of relationships crashed and burned). Others, had me awash in smirks and nostalgia.
I’ve written much on the why, how and when previously kind and hospitable bartenders mysteriously transform into utter assholes or douchebag mixologists. But, don’t take it just from me. I’m not the only game in this town (or The Wrong Coast for that matter). Enter Eric Alperin of Hey Bartender fame (I’m still waiting to see the movie) and barkeep at L.A.’s The Varnish.
So, you wanna be a baller, huh? You love to pound shot after shot, cocktail after cocktail in an effort to show just about all your bros (and often hos) that absolutely no one can possibly upstage you during an evening out, by drinking you under the table. How well you “handle yo’ licka,” is a skill which must be conveyed to all your homies at any cost. Among several problems with such an excessive endeavor, including (1) rapidly draining the evening’s budget and tapping into the Rent Reserve (2) funnin’ strangers boobs without a formal invite and (3) eating a fist full of teeth and getting tossed on your bum, perhaps the most challenging may be the dreaded Hangover.
What in tarnation causes a hangover anyway? How do you avoid it? Most importantly, how do you get rid of it once you have it?
It’s nearly Kentucky Derby time fools! Personally, I don’t give two craps. I’m the anti-hero when it comes to sports. Golf, Horse Racing, and NASCAR make me dry-heave an extra two times with, twisting my gut with extraordinary pain. I know, I know - sacrilege, right? Especially for a bartender and a dude! I couldn’t care any less about following football, basketball, hockey (extra yikes!), and baseball. My straight guy friends (they’re rare – 9/10 of my friends are hot chicks) hate on me endlessly for being “anti-sports,” a befitting description of me since my early twenties. Shockingly, many of my gay guy friends have a ton more interest in following sports than even I do. Somehow, I fake it pretty good when engaging sports fanatics with seemingly endless conversations at the bar.
The only reason I care about the Kentucky Derby, is because it’s yet another excuse to drink a classic cocktail.
I started this blog as a goof, an outlet for a few pent-up frustrations, and for self-psychotherapy. I held no other expectations. The unexpected however, has a way of creeping up on your ass when you least expect it. Having a [public] social media presence has a way of attracting attention – sometimes wanted, other times – not so much. So it’s been with this blog as the year and a half has crept by.
On the good side, I’ve met all kinds of Hospitality blogger geeks and established some pretty cool relationships. I’ve had the good fortune of being contacted by, and participating in several articles, interviews, and now videos, from major and minor publications. It’s all good I guess.
So it was the other day when Huffington Post reached out to me. They highlighted an article from BroBible.com, “Confessions of Bartender” and reached out to a few folks (myself included) to add a little colored commentary. The article is pretty well written and accurately conveys many issues and concerns I’ve mentioned previously.
Gotta love the InterToobs and Google Hangouts I must say.
“Aviation Aramos Fizz…” and 10 minute, $20 cocktails. “Smoked Salmon Infused Vodka… over Lava Rocks.” “Sazerac with some muddled Sage.” You can pin the blame for the mixologist craze mostly on Jerry mother-fucking Thomas. Yeah… more on him to come. Post-Prohibition revival and modern fainboi’ism of all things late-19th century have also had a hand. In the last few years, Brooklyn and San Francisco hipsterdom (who seem to have committed every passage of Imbibe to memory) took all this shit and ran absolutely raving wild with a ridiculously wide expanse of “throwback,” speakeasy’ish saloons. They’re not done. There seems to be no end in sight to this pseudo-retro explosion. It’s all gone a bit too far. Me? I heart me most of those cool spots as evidenced by my Pub Crawl. I just hate when folks go overboard and refuse to keep it real. I like to believe that I’ve got mad creative skills as well – no doubt. I’ve contributed to many a successful cocktail program. But mostly, I schlep my ass off in busy ass bars. Do yourself a favor and watch this epic video backlash.
This lovely evening has graced the New York City area with Mother Nature’s finest imitation of shit London weather. I fucking love London. I don’t love London’s weather (or Londoners’ teeth). When it gets all rainy and overcast like this, I grow fond of planting my dumb ass firmly on the couch. I like to compliment the R&R by consuming serious quantities of cheap vino, that I’ve convinced myself is a far more expensive varietal. I usually accomplish my mission by dribbling some $5 Trader Joe’s crap into a fancy, over-sized crystal goblet. I’ll swish it around, study the “legs,” rest in the “nose” for a minute, and finally, gargle the first gulp like a banshee. Good show, eh?
The only rub is that I have to keep getting my lazy arse up to refill my lovely goblet lest my buzz go by the wayside. The solution? Vat19′s Texas-sized gargantuan wine glass. Itholds a fucking fifth of liquid people. That’s an entire bottle of wine – 750ml.
I’ve decided that I’m in the wrong business. I should not be bartending. I need to dream up some ridonculous (but truly useful) products in the footsteps of my Clapper, Chia Pet, Snuggly, and Foreman Grill predecessors.